Oh, the wondrous and obligation filled day that is today. I’ve always had a love-hate mostly hate associations regarding my birthday. I really just don’t care for it and I’d rather just pretend it’s not approaching.
Guy’s I love the classics, nothing would get my juices pumping more than swaying into a retro yet soulful jazz club .perhaps I’d be wearing a glamorous 1920s flapper gown…but my birthdays have always been far from it.
Usually, earlier in the day, I’m in the high. confident.just feeling great and expecting all the luck and gift the world has to offer.so not the most realistic mindset. so it’s no wonder when I’m at my all-time low.
low till the break of dawn
I grew fond of penning down my achievements, struggles, and goals in a “dear future me” posts. Twenty was quite a rough year for me.but then again which year isn’t.So when I turned 21, I had quite A LOT to let out.One of which was: Fighting -that’s like trying to survive but never knowing if you’ll be able to live.to breath.to survive
It warmed my heart that people could grace me with their presence that year and taking time out to just be there meant a lot, to say the least.Twenty-one was definitely an amazing journey. but was it memorable? That I can’t say.
However, this past year has brought about so much growth and change in my life that I’m really struggling to deal with.I haven’t just gotten to where I need to shape my life but I’ve gotten to know myself and understand the people around me. I’ve come to realize that there are many categories of friends that could be in a person’s life.There are those that care.Those that are helpful, those that’ll tell the lipstick color you’re wearing is off. I acknowledge those that’ll always have my back.
But I gotta say, this time last year was slightly gloomy. From that day, everything went from north. 0 to 100.and it hit me so hard.On 25th Feb 2016.I noted:
Dear future me, I’m going through all of this so that you don’t have to. I’ve had to build up strength, character while showing vulnerability.Having to remain resilient in the face of despair.Being in a partnership and learning what it means to share yourself with another.
I gotta say, it’s been one helluva year but would I change anything about it? NO! it was memorable and I’m not just saying that coz it’s barely out the door.I’m saying it coz m fuckin’ grown now well a bit.
In as much as I never acknowledged being 22 until it literally flew out the window.Today, is a new day and the beginning of a new year so I’m feeling very lucky and why wouldn’t I be? and so it begins….
Dear future self, Dream big, it’s all you’ve got!