Nod if you understand me.
Do you think you’ll ever really come to terms with who you are?
the things you sense and feel but can’t put into words,
could you control your sensitivity towards others?
Perhaps you’ve convinced yourself that listening more and talking less makes you a considerate person or even maybe it spun from a psychological trauma you’ve locked in your subconscious.
I’d advise that you exercise talking to people more, opening up to people more, being a little trusting.
Trust and betrayal are two powerful words I think, the kinds that either make you or break you.
The latter happened.
People try to make sense of what they don’t know.
For some reason, I’ve been perceived as prideful, arrogance,
others have interpreted it as confidence.
But what it really is, is that
Most times I’m unfazed by the drama that happens around.
It doesn’t bother me until it bothers me and if it bothers me, It means I care.
I wanted to reach out; call your name, but I couldn’t; I just couldn’t.
So days and nights would go by and I’d sit with my leg crossed, wondering how it’s my fault that you couldn’t read my mind
and my heart ache’s once in a while; like now.
It reminds of all the things I could have said, and at the time I should have; but instead, bit my tongue, quivering, waiting for another perfect moment…
that never came.
All along I disappeared into myself, scared that if the light touched my skin,
Nothing would be the same anymore.
I don’t trust you, I didn’t want anyone to find out.
I just thought you should know. I can’t let you dictate what I am, and who I can be.
Alexithymia, that’s what they say it’s called; the inability to express nor read other’s emotions.
Wearing a mask face; putting on the performance of a lifetime.