“Be whatever you want to be”, they say, although what they really mean is, “You can be whatever you want as long as it is what I want you to.”

My sister told me this two years ago.  Now she’s eighteen and in the first year in the same school I just graduated from, medical programme. The truth is, I acceded to the decision to study medicine, It was more like a psychological attunement, people would say; “You like to read, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, you should be a Dr”. Uyai, on the other hand chose medicine.

Her struggles now give me flashbacks to when I was  naive and in first year. She had a bout of clinical depression that landed her in psychiatry outpatient, I suffered depression in between 1st and 2nd year as well, though it never occurred to me to me to visit the hospital, I turned to writing, drawing, and lots of crying. By then I hadn’t discovered the therapeutic values of exercise, nature walks and yoga, so I bottled it all in, no one knew.

I was praised for being strong, but matter-of-factly, Uyai-abasi showed admirable bravery for realising she had a problem and dealing with it. Our school system, unfortunately, is rigged for majority to fail, or at the very least, lose hope.  Now, my parents parenting style is absolutely contentious, in fact I’m probably scared for life because of their so called “African mentality”, but one thing our dad taught us was to stand our ground and never give up.  So the trials ensued, and boy did it rain down in full force, but I was too stubborn, and I know how resilient my sister is.

It took eight years of arduous training to become a Doctor, that day almost didn’t want to come, but as one of my favourite bloggers isaiahministry, noted, on their blog; “when God is working, he does so extraordinarily so the world knows that it is he”. I continue thanking him for honouring me in the way he has,  it took a lot of humbling experiences for me to finally succumb to his will,  I know he will bequeath his favour to Uyai-abasi. Because I’ve lived through them , I am now her biggest supporter.


A Haiku:

Pitter-patter of our DNA footprints

Juxtaposing faith’s light on grace

Attuned with signals of transcension








9 thoughts on “Transcension

  1. The issue of, the right to choice for “an African child” are always limited within the set boundaries of the parent wish, aspirations and life dreams. The painful aspects of it all, is trying to make you who they couldn’t become or wished they were, without considering what you really want.
    Some of us are never as strong as others to stand up, we just follow along, pick up a few pieces of love for what is choosen for us, to make it easier to handle.
    I’m a Quantity ‘Cost Engineer.


  2. How proud I am of both of you. Your strength is so admirable. When I was your ages, I thought I would never accomplish anything, but by grace and mercy of God, I have been successful as a professor adn a wife and a mother and a grandmother and for 23 years working as a professional. Tell you sister: “Keep believing, and as Jesus said to Jairus regarding his daughter that people thought was dead and gone, Just have faith. Don’t be afraid. She will be healed.” Congrats to you both.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I totally relate with this. Interesting piece. My first two years were so hard for me with so much pressure. One part of being in medical school is when a family member or a friend calls to check on you, because they never really understand the pressure you are under already they begin to pour out thier own expectations on you. They say words like. “Don’t dissapoint us, graduate and become a doctor” or ” you know you are our only hope of being a doctor in the family” or some go ahead to ask you how many years you have left each time they call and when it’s more than they expected, they begin to question you with a dissapointed tone.
    Medical school students need so much support and encouragement, in fact any child going through the path of choosing a career or accomplishing a purpose does. People never live their lives if all they do is to try meet expectations of people. No matter the success you cannot be truly happy and happiness is key. My experience drew me closer to God.


    1. This is the gospel truth. I’m glad we share similar experiences. And we never really get as much support as we deserve, truth is we will never be able to meet up with the expectations of others, I just wish I knew that in first year and just been true to myself. I’m really glad we could could connect on this K
      eke. Love You lots


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