die Katze und der Hase

Once upon a time, in a totally real, not made up kingdom close to the Amazon,  all animals lived in harmony.

They broke bread together and partook in delightful feasts

The Emperor and highest in command is the Elephant

The  Musicians were the birds and crickets

The Hunters included the Hyenas, wild cats and sharks

The decorators were the graceful butterflies

On security details, they had the porcupine and hound

As their community grew, many animals who did not have a job found one that gave them much purpose and fulfillment

Even the Fox became the kingdom’s travelling salesperson.

The baby animals were trained by their parents and relatives as they would take over the role when their loved ones were too feeble to continue.

The young owls studied the act of philosophy and diplomacy from their grand father

Everything was perfect. Everyone kept busy, everyone except the cat and the rabbit.

No one really knows about their absence. After the  community’s wholesome breakfast, they simply disappeared until the same time, the next day.

The Dog  aka whistle-blower Joe became suspicious, hence, he approached the mighty Emperor;

‘Sir I have reason to suspect that the Cat and the Rabbit are cajoling with members of other communities,  they may even be spies my Emperor, think back to your earliest memory of them, I can’t  recall them as kids, or their parents, can you?’

The Elephants fussed.

‘You’re right loyal dog, They just appeared here,  as you know,  I never forget. We must arraign them in front of the magistrate’.



And so it happened that the following morning, the cat  and Rabbit were tossed  into jail.

‘Hear ye, Hear ye’. The  Magistrate, the giraffe announced pounding his heavy gavel.  ‘the defendants may appear before my court’

So the cat and the rabbit, bound  on  all  sides by two hefty rhinoceros guards  and hippo bailiffs appeared before the judge.

The judge raised a brow;

‘Ok, I’m gonna keep this simple coz lunch starts in 15 minutes and I gotta catch the sautéed pithy tendril before they run out. You two stand here accused  of spying on our community and stealing information about us’

‘What information?’ the Cat mocked;

‘Silence! do you understand these charges, have you anything to say?’

‘I have a question’, announced the rabbit meekly,

The whole court leaned it. The rabbit rarely spoke, except for the old owl, no one knows how he sounded like

‘Go ahead’ nudged the Giraffe

In his thready, squeaky voice, the Rabbit askd ‘why are there only wryms,  tiger snakes and crocs in the prison?’

The Giraffe shouted with austerity, “because they are baaaaaaad mother fuckers, and they’ll eat your cute hiney  for breakfast without blinking twice’

‘This is ridiculous’, objected the cat,  are you so curious about where I am? My aeipathy is laying at the vantage point of the hilliest rock where the sun hits just right and occasionally licking my sack, why? BECAUSE I HAVE NO JOB, is that a crime now?

‘Me too’, said the rabbit

The Giraffe looked at his watch and said. ‘I rule that you two are unguilty,  Lazy bigots. Now, get out of my courthouse and get a life!”


News got back the Emperor that two furry critters needed to secure a job

‘Well that’s easy, said the Elephant, they can be poets’

‘Sir the Seal has that,  his work is like Troubadour’, the Emperor’s secretary,  Swansil the Swan suggested

‘What about good distributors’

‘The Chimps Sir, they even deal with perfumes

‘They like to groom, how about a hair saloon?’

‘Sir, you send your wife to  Bear & Brothers™ for her coils, he’s excellent at it’.

‘Right right  then perhaps design?’

‘Fashion is the peacocks area of expertise’

Four hours of bantering later, the Emperor consulted with his council men. They made more suggestions, albeit there was really no free occupational sector available.

By the end of the day, every one had collapsed from exhaustion. Finally the Elephant called in the Cat and the Rabbit

‘Listen, we are tired! just tell us what it is you want to be, and you can resumer training for it’

They exchanged trepid glances; ‘well we don’t know’, said the rabbit

‘You have until tomorrow morning  to figure it out’.



The following day,  the Cat and Rabbit, arrived zestfully to the throne room

‘Have you arrived at a decision’, a doubtful Emperor scoffed;

‘We think you were on to something, We should be spies!’ said the cat

The Elephant’s eyes flung open, ‘You’re right…I did come up with that ‘

the swan  said matter-of-factly, ‘technically, the hound did….’

‘Silence! roared the Emperor, from this day onwards,  I decree that the cat and the Rabbit will visit new unexplored territories,  learn about it for as long as they deem fit, and report back to us’

After the decree, the Emperor called in the spies, ‘have you decided where you will start your mission ?’

The Rabbit cleared his throat, ‘there are these interesting race of upright walking creatures called  Humans.

“What makes them so special? asked the Emperor

the Cat said; “their strengths: they have a wide variety of resources we can steal and industrialise

Or weaponise even” added the Rabbit

‘And their weakness?’ said the Emperor

‘Glad you asked my Emperor,  smized the rabbit, they’ll consider any breathing thing as a pet. Together we will be unassailable’

And thus engendered the prodigious adventure of the Cat and the Rabbit in the Human household and the Kingdom flourished, or so they thought.


Hey friends. Today I thought I’d get a bit silly today. I recently visited my friend’s family and one of them wanted me to give them a bed time story. But, since they don’t speak English. I had to deliver it either in Magyar or Deutsch.

I couldn’t deliver. But I vowed to give them an original Alexandrian fable that I will completely translate to Deutsch in time.

Let me know what animals you liked, and the ones who think should have been featured, as well as the role they should have played in our euthopian society.




You suckle my blood, till I run dry

You deviant Nubian of valour

Leaving elysian kisses upon my skin.


Sentiment promises a reward of intimacy

A sense of normalcy ruly stand

You suckle my blood, till I run dry.


Our evolving persona transcends calamity

Daunting places I outran

Leaving elysian kisses upon my skin.


Till the end of fads

of stage-lights and thespian glamour

You suckle my blood, till I run dry


The hollow of my neck

satiate your hunger

Leaving elysian kisses upon my neck


Nevermore shall it be told

The delusions of attachments

You suckle my blood till I run dry

Leaving elysian kisses upon my skin

Reckless Lovers

Candles check.

Chardonnay check.

Roses check.

Not to downplay the foreplay

but second chances is only fair play

He thought so

So did she.

Without  reflex or resentments.

They toy with the notion

that sets it into motion

Before hand the thought of his presence brought commotion

discriminating bravado romance from reckless emotions.

lips plum  like cherry

inviting her to make merry

from monasteries in january

with groins so heavy

tensions released via missionary

Musky pheromones dance through her sinus

on a stale autumn night

all that is needed are

A dopamine high

An Aphrodisiac

His lingering fingers

Her hard nipples

The nape of his neck

the arch of her back

His broad chest

Her fluffy buttocks

His breath. Her breath. Synchronised

While vibing to Al Green’s, ‘sha la la’

Spinning on the vinyl recorder

till the first light of day spews through the velvet curtains

Release remanded 112 Imo women protesters SERAP, Nigerians demand


And Nigeria continues to plummet to an all time low . Here is a fraction of the reason  I wouldn’t argue with Trump for  his vile comments on minority countries;

The Socio-Economic Rights and Accountability Project, SERAP, including many Nigerians have demanded the unconditional release of 112 pro-Biafra Imo women who were arrested, detained and remanded in Owerri prison for participating in a peaceful protest to demand the whereabouts of the leader of the Indigenous People of Biafra, IPOB, Nnamdi Kanu.

The women are to be remanded in jail till September 3 by Magistrate S.K Durumba for embarking on a peaceful protest. It was also gathered that one of the women (a pregnant woman) who broke down in the court as a result of the alleged beaten earlier received from the police during the peaceful protest was said to have bled profusely before she was rushed to an undisclosed hospital.

However, following their continued remand, the concerned Nigerians who condemned their incarceration called for their unconditional release. The Nigerians took to the micro-blogging site, twitter to call for the women’s release.

Below are their tweets:










I don’t want to be you anymore

More than once, the cave deity spoke to me. She said,

Remember, you are not him. You don’t have to be like him, walk like him, talk like him. You are not him.

Free yourself from the wrighting manacles of his approval. Release yourself from the controlling power of his mind. It’s more important that you recognise yourself. You shouldn’t have to hide behind his shadow a second longer.

Your greatest metamorphosis will stem from defeating his ego, which your ego emulates.

And when it hit’s you. You will cry till there’s no more tears left  to warm your cheeks.

Then you will be in a position to resonate with the symphony of your higher self.  A note you know too well

Your morale is feral. Savage, never, boisterous.

Alas!  You can inebriate on the wild brew of  freedom.

Image courtesy: Pinterest



20th August—Foundation of the state

Today is a national holiday in Hungary, It is to commemorate the foundation of the state. We visited Ópusztaszer to identify with pieces of the timeline that is the Hungarian culture.

And boy was it interesting! to say the the least.

I woke up ahead of schedule, but that didn’t stop me from lagging behind anyways. My boyfriend, Viktor was neither surprised.

Three hours later.

It was like a renaissance fair if I’ve ever been to one. The Feszty-paranoma is a phenomenal masterpiece about how the Hungarian Nomads led by Lord Árpád conquered their land and their patriotic heroism.

My boyfriend felt very proud of his nation’s endurance since the establishment of the state of Hungary in 1000 A.D.

These got me thinking about the earliest traces of Nigerians as a people. As it turns out. We had early settlements in Nigerian. These settlements would later be large enough to form the tribes and kingdoms. It is especially interesting. Unfortunately history is not especially important in Nigerian academic curriculums. Our most recent history dates to the pre-colonial, but that’s a story for another day.

At the end of the evening, we listened to a band perform live rendition of original gypsy music. They are the Gipsy Cimbalom band.

It is an exhilarating experience. I invite you to share your weekend escapades and thoughts in the comments below 😉

Ol’ Man Roger

Every day was the same.

Ol’ man Roger would stand at the dock whilst ferrymen and captains docked their ships. He missed the smell  of the sea, his first love. These days he seemed weary and scruffy, some say he hasn’t dipped a toe into the water since the death of his esteemed son, over five decades earlier.

After paying homage to the sea, Ol’ man Roger would go into Dean’s tavern. The favourite place of the sea-men and for good reason too, with cheap draft beers, concubines,  and ashes vaping up the chimney stove, Dean’s  tavern was a home away from home.

Ol’ man Roger would sit at his spot, invisible between the plant and the door. He’d leer into his mug,  draining it’s content  till it vanished. He’d speak to no-one except Dean, and watch the grudgy sailors brawl.

Ol’ man Roger was an uncanny sight to behold.

Every one grew fond of the arcane septuagenerian in the corner, no one knew why he was always there, even in the windiest of nights.

He’d  leave Dean’s at nine minutes to midnight, and not a second later , clasping unto his flask  with all his energy like he were protecting pandora’s box.

He’d circle back to the shore to catch the chiaroscuro effect of the lighthouse on the azure waters, revealing the luminous waves as they roared and crashed into a cinereous foam.

The stillness of pellucid water hid perfectly the secrets  beyond the reef… perhaps even the bones of Arnold, encircling between estuaries. One thing he was sure of  as he watched such wondrous scenery  was that his son was in a quiescent astral plane.

The town bell chimed at midnight.

Ol’ man Roger would drag a mouthful from his flask, then pour  every other drop  into the sea. The ripples it caused reminded him it was of  little use to betray a greater calling.  For the first time in fifty years, he stepped into the water, submitting to the ethereal reaction in him, then  he waded and paddled towards the lighthouse.




I don’t know why but here I am

I created fetters

Disillusioned by my elusiveness,

Depersonalised by this spying nature


I sieve through languid personalities

Emulating what others can’t handle

Inebriating on freedom and valproate


I’m nothing more than a blot of ink in a richly dense book.

Like a living, breathing embodiment of fear

Every story needs a villain

Someone like me who has no face