The soles of my feet were tethered to the floor as chills creeped up my limbs and invaded my spine. Meticulously. I gulped hard, hoping for relief as hot saliva tickled the back of my throat. Surprisingly it works— for a split second. My hand managed to form a fist and knocked on the door.
The door is opened by a tall elderly welcoming face in white. He urges me to seat, then adds. “the senior drs will be joining us”. “Yippie, I thought, more fun”.
When everyone was seated, he began, ” this is an evaluation of your performance since you joined our team”. I swallowed hard. “You’re always there, polite. do what you’re asked but…
But you’re reserved. TOO reserved!. Lets hear what the others have to say
Senior Dr #1 In the beginning, you were great, curious. Active, then along the line you stopped engaging.
Senior Dr #2 Ditto.
Gulp. Gulp. Swallow. Swallow
senior Dr #3 This is a difficult department to work in and you’re adapting the best you can
The Bossman turned back to me, a little more pitiful than before, “Do you have something to say?”
In a bare whisper I started, ” I didn’t realise my personality was in question. No offence but you bunch are kinda intimidating with your loads of experience to my Intern status.”
I may have said more, may have stammered, may even have blacked out a bit.
I knew there was trouble on the other side of this door, but this went left, fast.
“This is not a criticism on you”, the Bossman interrupted my thoughts. “And I would gladly write up a recommendation for you”.
Write a recommendation? nice way to rip out my heart, cook it in cauldron and serve it back to me with wine and silverware.
I left feeling broken, but there’s no hurt that Yoga and the Bible cannot sooth. I have to say goodbye to this city’s bright lights I love but every now and again, bright lights dim and the time arrives to move somewhere sunnier.