Happy 1st

No one lives forever. Imminently our life essence escapes like a fleeting wisp of air with no warning, or justification.My beloved Aunty Stella was too beautiful for this world.

We had our own Christmas tradition

On 26th December I would call and wish her a happy birthday, she’d ask me about school (she passed away 5 months to my graduation), when I’m coming to visit. Then, we’d talk about her husband, and the girls.

Except last year, I broke that tradition. I don’t know what I was confronted with, or if I simply waved it away and thought, ” there’s always next year.”

How naive!

I and my cousins were never particularly close, but it doesn’t take a psychoanalyst to tell that the source of their holiday delight is around no longer, kinda like the Inn-keeper’s son.

For them, every Christmas tree is a reminder that theirs is still boxed in the garage. That no gifts were under it signed by Santa aka mom—even though all of her daughters are in their mid-late 20s. No matching pyjamas. No holiday crackers on the dinner table, or a game like caricature drawing after the meal. And no celebration of her 56th the day after Christmas.

But today I celebrate her life, her family and the joy she brought to mine.

Today is my Aunty’s Stella’s first Birthday in Heaven.

Thank you for reading, and best wishes this festive season 🙂

happy 1st
happy first

P.s Happy BIRTHDAY

Every year is the same. when my birthday is looming, I become sad. On my birthday, I start off trying to process my new age, tell myself I will not celebrate it, three hour before midnight, I send an urgent text to my friends to come through and chill.

The reason for that is  growing up I didn’t get to celebrate my birthday often because at first we were poor, then I was always in boarding school or somewhere else, I remember always feeling sad every February 25th, and that translated into my aversion towards it .

Another reason I cringe is when people expect you to celebrate. It becomes about them because of the pressure to make your day stand out. Often times, I find myself wishing that I was born Feb 28th so I won’t have to think about birthdays on a leap year. It would have been  perfectly entwined with my introverted nature, but God has a reason for making me be born when I was.

On the contrary I love when it’s my family or friend’s birthday. I get to try to be funny,  cheerful and make their day the best for them.

Today is my sister’s birthday, my priceless’s sixteenth, I’m exceptionally sad that I’m not there because I do want her to remember this big one as I can’t recall mine, she says it’s no big deal, I think we are kinda the same.  Tomorrow will be my beloveds’ birthday and as always, I’m more siked than him.

When we look deeper, we know that it is the most defining event that marks us humans, the beginning of life, It also reminds us that as humans, we do not have control of when we get to grow older. That sucks.

But it’s not all bad, because life is already hard enough as it is, to make it through one year is a great achievement whether one is two or ninety-two. I choose to see it being one step closer to fulfilling my purpose.

To work on improving upon yesterday, To surmount the low lows and high highs,  To build that dream year in year out. It is truly inspiring, and that’s the epiphany I have every 25th Feb at 9pm. So yea life’s depressing but we’re here now, which means every year God wants us here and that alone is enthralling enough.

With that I say Congratulations to my Priceless, Mfon-abasi. and my beloved, Viktor Czifra. I’m so glad you’re alive for you have made an amazing impact in my life. There is immeasurable blessings waiting for you. In Jesus name. Amen!

A brief Poem…

Gather around children, a’rnd the bon fire

This sweeping gale carries September memories

Reminding us, age is not just a number

Embalmed With it is experience

Greater insight, more strength

On equinox’s moon the spirit scares us all

With tale surmounting  who we were yesterday

Do you hear those baby steps?

Growing clamorous as we evolve

shadowing who are meant to be.

The Girl Behind Alexander

Life is a journey and twenty-four years today, I started mine.

Coincidentally, Memoirs of Alexander began one year ago, today. What are the odds, right?

  Lol. I stun, I’m a stunner. But seriously, being twenty-three came with such unexpected growth and awareness, both personally and in social settings.

I was and perhaps am still the woman who wants things done her way, and being twenty-three taught me that it’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to show my vulnerability and it’s okay to let others pick me up.  Honestly, this one was a hard pill to swallow and it is gonna be a looooooong journey, which is why I am happy I began now.

 

Another thing about Idara-abasi which you may not have sensed is,  on a scale of one to ten, my confidence is perhaps a 3.5.  In my previous age, I discovered, with the aid of Memoirs of Alexander, that this possibly stemmed from being sexually assaulted at a young age, (I was a sweet, quiet kid, y’kno, exactly what the pedophiles like), and my inability to process and communicate it.  You can find the blog post here. Luckily, I found a medium to voice that, and now, I’m blossoming into the woman I was always meant to be.

I let my uniqueness, creativity, and wits speak for itself

 

I believe in a strong mind, and to achieve that I need a strong body.  Together, they’re okay— but not great, because there is an even bigger part of this equation that I struggled with my entire life.

Faith in the Lord Jesus. Phillippians 4:13. Restoring my faith is perhaps my biggest achievement being twenty-three.

There are constantly two forces fighting in each of us, the Holy Spirit and the spirit of the world. Galatians 5:17. I was always aware of that internal turmoil and like Jonah, I fled from God. I wasn’t ready, I didn’t want to be.

I am neither astral nor churchy, In fact, I am mostly a skeptical and pragmatic person, but I am slowly seeing the light and perhaps if I let it lead me instead of being such a dang control freak. Perhaps, I will be ready.

So here I am a blogger,  an epistemophile and soon to be MD, most of who I am today was not my plan, which again reminds me that God’s plan and time are not the same as mine.

I am grateful to the ever faithful, God. I am grateful to my family and friends who stuck around through my know it all and isolation-depressive phase.

I am grateful for the chance to connect with bloggers, readers, & supporters. You guys will continue to be a blessing to me.

So there you have it. A very long piece about myself, lol. If you made it this far, thanks for your audience. I would like to interact with you more, let me know what you think about this post.

Till next time,  remember, we are loved.