Once upon a time, in a totally real, not made up kingdom close to the Amazon, all animals lived in harmony.
They broke bread together and partook in delightful feasts
The Emperor and highest in command is the Elephant
The Musicians were the birds and crickets
The Hunters included the Hyenas, wild cats and sharks
The decorators were the graceful butterflies
On security details, they had the porcupine and hound
As their community grew, many animals who did not have a job found one that gave them much purpose and fulfillment
Even the Fox became the kingdom’s travelling salesperson.
The baby animals were trained by their parents and relatives as they would take over the role when their loved ones were too feeble to continue.
The young owls studied the act of philosophy and diplomacy from their grand father
Everything was perfect. Everyone kept busy, everyone except the cat and the rabbit.
No one really knows about their absence. After the community’s wholesome breakfast, they simply disappeared until the same time, the next day.
The Dog aka whistle-blower Joe became suspicious, hence, he approached the mighty Emperor;
‘Sir I have reason to suspect that the Cat and the Rabbit are cajoling with members of other communities, they may even be spies my Emperor, think back to your earliest memory of them, I can’t recall them as kids, or their parents, can you?’
The Elephants fussed.
‘You’re right loyal dog, They just appeared here, as you know, I never forget. We must arraign them in front of the magistrate’.
And so it happened that the following morning, the cat and Rabbit were tossed into jail.
‘Hear ye, Hear ye’. The Magistrate, the giraffe announced pounding his heavy gavel. ‘the defendants may appear before my court’
So the cat and the rabbit, bound on all sides by two hefty rhinoceros guards and hippo bailiffs appeared before the judge.
The judge raised a brow;
‘Ok, I’m gonna keep this simple coz lunch starts in 15 minutes and I gotta catch the sautéed pithy tendril before they run out. You two stand here accused of spying on our community and stealing information about us’
‘What information?’ the Cat mocked;
‘Silence! do you understand these charges, have you anything to say?’
‘I have a question’, announced the rabbit meekly,
The whole court leaned it. The rabbit rarely spoke, except for the old owl, no one knows how he sounded like
‘Go ahead’ nudged the Giraffe
In his thready, squeaky voice, the Rabbit askd ‘why are there only wryms, tiger snakes and crocs in the prison?’
The Giraffe shouted with austerity, “because they are baaaaaaad mother fuckers, and they’ll eat your cute hiney for breakfast without blinking twice’
‘This is ridiculous’, objected the cat, are you so curious about where I am? My aeipathy is laying at the vantage point of the hilliest rock where the sun hits just right and occasionally licking my sack, why? BECAUSE I HAVE NO JOB, is that a crime now?
‘Me too’, said the rabbit
The Giraffe looked at his watch and said. ‘I rule that you two are unguilty, Lazy bigots. Now, get out of my courthouse and get a life!”
News got back the Emperor that two furry critters needed to secure a job
‘Well that’s easy, said the Elephant, they can be poets’
‘Sir the Seal has that, his work is like Troubadour’, the Emperor’s secretary, Swansil the Swan suggested
‘What about good distributors’
‘The Chimps Sir, they even deal with perfumes‘
‘They like to groom, how about a hair saloon?’
‘Sir, you send your wife to Bear & Brothers™ for her coils, he’s excellent at it’.
‘Right right then perhaps design?’
‘Fashion is the peacocks area of expertise’
Four hours of bantering later, the Emperor consulted with his council men. They made more suggestions, albeit there was really no free occupational sector available.
By the end of the day, every one had collapsed from exhaustion. Finally the Elephant called in the Cat and the Rabbit
‘Listen, we are tired! just tell us what it is you want to be, and you can resumer training for it’
They exchanged trepid glances; ‘well we don’t know’, said the rabbit
‘You have until tomorrow morning to figure it out’.
The following day, the Cat and Rabbit, arrived zestfully to the throne room
‘Have you arrived at a decision’, a doubtful Emperor scoffed;
‘We think you were on to something, We should be spies!’ said the cat
The Elephant’s eyes flung open, ‘You’re right…I did come up with that ‘
the swan said matter-of-factly, ‘technically, the hound did….’
‘Silence! roared the Emperor, from this day onwards, I decree that the cat and the Rabbit will visit new unexplored territories, learn about it for as long as they deem fit, and report back to us’
After the decree, the Emperor called in the spies, ‘have you decided where you will start your mission ?’
The Rabbit cleared his throat, ‘there are these interesting race of upright walking creatures called Humans.
“What makes them so special? asked the Emperor
the Cat said; “their strengths: they have a wide variety of resources we can steal and industrialise
Or weaponise even” added the Rabbit
‘And their weakness?’ said the Emperor
‘Glad you asked my Emperor, smized the rabbit, they’ll consider any breathing thing as a pet. Together we will be unassailable’
And thus engendered the prodigious adventure of the Cat and the Rabbit in the Human household and the Kingdom flourished, or so they thought.
Hey friends. Today I thought I’d get a bit silly today. I recently visited my friend’s family and one of them wanted me to give them a bed time story. But, since they don’t speak English. I had to deliver it either in Magyar or Deutsch.
I couldn’t deliver. But I vowed to give them an original Alexandrian fable that I will completely translate to Deutsch in time.
Let me know what animals you liked, and the ones who think should have been featured, as well as the role they should have played in our euthopian society.