Free in the emptiness

Can we be empty for a day

can we meet back in the embers

that stirred our soul like wild forest fire

folding us into an empty space

far from the reach of salvation

Do you remember your freedom

can you forget your slavery

two words juxtapose themselves at extreme poles

Fear at the equivocal end to freedom.

freedom doesn’t begin without fear

Where did your soul wander

in the midst of so much darkness

why did the music stop

just when the encore was getting louder

when will the cycle of self-sabotage dwindle

For the free woman

for the feeling of effervescence

for the cynical soul

that don’t want anything in particular

and are not quite sure of what they’re looking at

until they see it set free in the emptiness

The process

I tried many times to explain how it works

but really there is no formular to solve this

the mess is alway supposed to be ugly

Something you should hide from everyone that knows you

if they see it, you feel guilty. if they don’t, you feel guilty

you don’t tell anybody and you nurture fear

now there is hole, borrowed so deep you can’t see the end

this all started with your perception of the mess

look at the mess you’ve made

you’ve harvested a basket of regret

i can’t speak right, and i cant laugh right

but the mess could be beautiful too

i don’t need these guilt

i don’t need to worry about others beliefs

it’s the process of unravelling your mess that straps you tighter inside

like a fly struggling in a Venus fly trap

but you could see it as a person

let it know you’re still afraid but this phase will pass

as long as we live, there will always be new messes to process

better to work with it than to push against

there’s never been a formula for it

I am a mess, but i’m beautiful still.

Beard eye

Captain Beard eye is not like any regular pirate you’ve heard about before

He’s not a scruffy vulgar scallywag like the other sea robbers in the high ocean. He didn’t steal treasures or have an eye patch. He didn’t even have a seagull that gawked on his shoulder from sun up to sundown .

He didn’t squander his nights on laudanum and flute.

No beard eye is not like any pirate you’ve ever seen

His sailing ship was the whole earth. He’d would sail the earth through stormy waters. If sailors fell overboard, he’d send a rescue boat . With intentions purer than the fresh water he sailed. Sometimes the sea was foggy because the sailors disobeyed his commands, but that didn’t distract beard eye from his goal to teach them to love each other and him.

A night came during his adventure in the North ocean, A whirlwind struck the water into a violent storm, threatening to drown his crewmen. The sailors cried and whimpered and wailed. “Gather your courage men, the Lord our God will save our lives” Beard eye commanded. Some of his cabin boys hid under the rescue boats, while others contemplated drinking mercury.

But Beard eye held the wheel firm in his hands, and his tobacco pipe firm between his teeth. He sailed the boat as fast as his could, even though it had begun to sink. The crew had lost all confident in him. But soon, the ship was gliding from wave to wave because of the speed. Beard eye neither slowed down or wavered. And just like that the sails could touch the clouds. The sailors couldn’t believe their eyes. Perhaps we are dead, they mummered amongst themselves. But Indeed, the ship was flying over Africa. It landed somewhere in the Indian Ocean.

Hence, Beard eye became not only the most famous pirate in the heavens and the earth, but will be the most respected name for generations to come.

The Garden

It’s the beginning of yet another week, I know

I know the dark calls to you sometimes

I know you walk down roads you know you shouldn’t

I know you observe your reflection through a jumble of shards

I know you’re worn out, tired of reliving patterns of painful choices

I sense you feel hollow at times

like life is teasing you, dancing in front of you,

but escaping you somehow

i know you live in the disconnect between where you are

and what’s happening outside of you

i know how much it hurts to live there, in the divide

between what you feel you are, and what you wish you could be

The sun has kissed your skin and you have inhaled it with complete trust

and you sometimes move without knowing what’s next

at times it feels paralysing to live with yourself.

I know you’ve worked so hard to control the outcome of your life

that you forget to meet yourself in the quiet and breath yourself full again

that you live in the shallow end and you forget to go deep,

breath deep ujjayi

you forget there is wealth of abundance and trust in you

i know there are places in yourself that you do not love

the parts you wrestle away

you visit them them from time to time, hoping they’re not there

i know you long to live in bliss

and when you arrive there you are so alive as if everything around you

is telling you yes, you’re home.

but i know shadows come while you’re asleep

and drag you down the familiar landscape of fear

I know you wonder if the light will ever return

because you’re tired of this upbeat dance between the two worlds.

you’re learning to taste heaven, grown wings

you’re accepting the difference

between sun soaked mornings and dark forests

you are human my dear and are allowed to be in both places

you are not damaged

you are not failing

you are allowed to be lost in dark rivers

be gentle when doubt comes, when fear chokes

when darkness debilitates you

spend special care to cultivate the garden of love when you come across these dark corridors.

know that you are offered the chance to tend your garden

the dark offers you a chance to love all the places you’d never dare

all the places you curse

where we deprive ourselves of love is where we need it most

when the dark comes , tell it what it what it wants so badly to hear,

You are loved.

The fall of Homo Sapiens

I keep dreaming of Astral beings

circling the earth’s core

suspended in their orbital hollow UFOs

steering their spaceship into Central America

abolishing all life form around its perimeter

I still suspect Aliens

emitting high-frequency light energies

into galaxies far from our limited views

bottling up the milky way in titanum jars

threatening humanity with each turn of time

I have never heard the wind like that before

or the mangroves speak stillness

From it’s deep bowels,

the earth has sprouted cancerous roots

Left me speechless like never before

The time is coming

the time has come

Time lapses outside my bedroom window

wrapping our psyche in a precise forcefield

like the decadent sycamore tree rooted outside

This is a message to the Earth

the seasons, the canyons and natural elements

how aimless our planet orbits the sun

as Humans poison it’s fertile soil

waiting for when it’s devoid of life form

So listen as the former powerful giant

whimpers in a clam shell

will the earth still be earth?

if the celestial bodies turned away

if the rain refused to seep from the heavens

If she took back everything she gave us

and handed it to the next generation of evolved species

They will excavate our bones

retracing the history of the fall of homo sapiens

A kaleidoscope of doubt

Toxic is the air invading the space between my mouth and nostrils

grown a fool waiting for love to sprout on winged petunia

I’ve clawed my heart to recover crystals that glistens darkness in my eyes

Fear has returned to torment a dusty cobwebbed casket.

A ripple of the river reflects the subtle complexity of existence

An existence separated by colours, seen and unseen. Gold and silver.

Separating further into hues that are too bright and overly sharp.

I fear I have triggered a cascade of events.

Pillars of white ricochet their luminosity, giving the illusion of separate divinity, or separate existence, dividing life and living, body and soul, is there a difference between living and breathing?

I may very well be buried under an oasis of doubt, coughing up sputum and goo, invading the intangible crevices like a broken mannequin underneath a glacier.

And I have survived, I mean I’m still living — and breathing.

The stars shine so bright that they rip a hole in a time-space continuum

and all I wish to do is swim in the penumbra of twilight.

Collect kisses from a thousand crows

As they nest on top the clay that holds the secret to my doubts.

I’ve sworn a vow to do better. I’ll be better. I’ll hold a matchstick close to a furnace and bask in it’s golden glow.

I will light a candle close to my heart and let my tears bounce off it’s flames. I can do it, just you watch.

I can make the sun and moon kiss in cosmic bureaucracy.

The emo in me is like a sand that won’t let you see the delicate ocean circling in my eyes.

You need not look at me, if you wish not to. But I bid you,

Remove the anchor that weighs so heavily on my ankle.

Find me in a kaleidoscope of doubt.

Follow the trail of lost serendipity in my voice.

Faceless

I don’t know why but here I am

I created fetters

Disillusioned by my elusiveness,

Depersonalised by this spying nature

 

I sieve through languid personalities

Emulating what others can’t handle

Inebriating on freedom and valproate

 

I’m nothing more than a blot of ink in a richly dense book.

Like a living, breathing embodiment of fear

Every story needs a villain

Someone like me who has no face

 

Don’t Go into the Woods

“Fear is a misperceived and overexaggerated event borne of the human ID.

What do you think is out there, human or monster? Micheal mused

“I dunno”, Alexander was un-flinched by the wild bush and thorns before them, “Only one way to find out”, she stepped forward. “Come with me?”

Micheal scoffed. “I’m really not that curious, it’s getting dark, and I’m terrible with directions”.

Alex batted her eyes and pouted, “I can’t do this without you. Please.”

Micheal tentatively filled his lungs with air, then led the way.

The air was humid. There was barely space between the sprouting weed to thread upon. The soil beneath them was damp. They were startled by the cawing crows circling the sky above them, then they flew away. They forced their way through the small path, halting by a lake that ran as far as their eyes could see. It split the forest into two halves, the side they were on, and the other side.

“This is the best we’re going to discover,” Micheal fact-checked, “let’s make some pictures and go home”.

Alexander took out her Nikon. Click. Click. She paused, focusing on the images.

“There’s a cottage, over there the other side, we sh—”

“No, it’s dark”. Micheal sternly dissuaded.

But Alexander countered. “Obviously nobody lives there, we may have just discovered a clubhouse or secret hideout”

“Yea, you can tell me all about it later”, disenchanted by his friend’s pervicaciousness, Micheal started to leave in the direction from which they came.

Alexander stood feeling betrayed. She sighed, then begun ebbing against the stream which rose to her knees. There was an old willow tree in front of the hut where two tenebrous crows rested. She swung the door open, stepping into darkness. She fidgeted her blazer for a lighter, and soon a rich yellow glow bathed her skin while illuminating the cottage.

It was slovenly. There were cobwebs on every surface. One raggedy old boot in the corner. A book rested on the table in the middle. She flipped the dusty brown pages, nothing was inscribed. A grimy cauldron on the hearth.

A gale left her in darkness yet again. She fidgeted with the lighter for several minutes until there was a glint. She near damn jumped out of her skin when she noticed an owl on the table staring at her intently.

“HOO HOO are you?”, the Owl’s wings began to shed and fingers sprouted from the feathers, it’s nape elongated, it’s torso broadens.

Alexander’s glassy eyes widened as the bird transformed completely into a human. A Nyx.

“Cat caught your tongue? I asked what you’re doing in my woods?”

Ihow didwhat are you? she couldn’t seem to piece the words together

The Nyx wore a menacing rictus, “there are so many things in this world that would fry your pretty brain if you tried to wrap your head around them.” Taking several steps towards the visibly shaken girl, she paused an inch to her face, lowering her voice to a whisper.

“Normally people who disturb me get into trouble, but youI sense somethingit’s not fear”. She crossed Alex, stepping behind. “You came here hoping to find something in ordinary because darkness is the adrenaline that feeds your soul. Am I wrong?

Alexander did not utter a sound.

“I’m going to let you go, she continued, “but, I am keeping your friend”

Alex snapped out of the valor, “what do you mean?”

She grinned, revealing her scattered dentures, “The lad you came here with. He’s mine.”

A glint of lightning revealed Micheal in the corner of the hut, his feet sinking into the ground. “Help Alex, I can’t get out”, he yelled. Another glint and he was gone.

” I invaded your privacy, not him, please let him go.”

The door swung violently open, the woman pointed a crusty finger towards it. “Leave now, while you still can”

Alexander fell on the floor, pleading. Cowering.

The woman spat, “your fear is pungent and your heart is hardened., very well. But, you must come to my cottage, every day for as long as you live, and you must write into that notepad, anything. Everyday. This is your omen, in return, your friend’s memory of this is wiped and he lives. Now go.”

Alex ran out as quick as she could. She could hear ta stentorian snicker. Several crows took to the sky. She dived through the trees but she wouldn’t look back till she got home.

************

The following day, Alexander saw Micheal and sure enough, his recollection of their adventure ended before the lake. He even joked about her new arcane hideout. After lunch, She went back to the cottage. She sat at the table, picking up a pen. She began;

Chapter One: Don’t go into the woods

Unresolved

 

We don’t have to brave a fight to heal

Tomorrow is a new day

but today is war

we bear the heat of uncompromising terror,

press play on life

set actions into motion

our lovers become foes

Happiness is subjective

balance is trivialized

Darkness leads to a fathomless abyss of  bliss,

or disillusion

Man in his feral state concludes;

Content is happiness.

 

Scary isn’t it?

 

The unforgiving nights,

when fog rises up the hill

Our faces, whitewashed

marred by the satirical tides we are yet to discover

but must confide in.

Hence, we sip nectars of laudanum

through straws of addiction

the urn feeds attachments

we hope will never run out

 

 

we’re seated in a row

unchaste in our demeanor

half boisterous; half nonchalant

on the bus to what is an unknown change;

or to change the unknown

a sign that reads,”divergent only.”

on its bumper

Our mutual feelings, unresolved

Control.

When there’s no easier way of letting go

because the truth is only worth denying once.

 

 

No Man’s Land

We come from the same land

dear brother,

I trusted you

unheedingly,

We walked through the desert

me, yearning for a new beginning.

 

 

Your skin like mine is dark

your flag like mine is green

I’m not a slave.

But like the Portuguese pirates of the old world

you’ve branded me, a cow

and while you feel safe in your lofty bed

I cry without end, locked in a cell.

 

If dehumanizing me earns you a fortune

then our bureaucracy has failed us

the Nigerian police can’t see us as equals

Buhari is blind

and my brother

even as you stand before me

I know you can’t see as a human

In no man’s land,

only money talks.

 

See my hair,

they twist and curl in the wind like yours.

Oh, how naive I was

to have resurrected hope on sighting you

but when I learned

how  hedonistic you’ve become

With my last strength

I yelped,

My countryman, help me! brother, please.

You told me,

there is no brother in the jungle

before you disposed of my virtue

to a fate worse than repatriating to Nigeria,

Death in the Mediterranean.

 

 

 

 

A piece in light of the ongoing slave trade in Libya.