The process

I tried many times to explain how it works

but really there is no formular to solve this

the mess is alway supposed to be ugly

Something you should hide from everyone that knows you

if they see it, you feel guilty. if they don’t, you feel guilty

you don’t tell anybody and you nurture fear

now there is hole, borrowed so deep you can’t see the end

this all started with your perception of the mess

look at the mess you’ve made

you’ve harvested a basket of regret

i can’t speak right, and i cant laugh right

but the mess could be beautiful too

i don’t need these guilt

i don’t need to worry about others beliefs

it’s the process of unravelling your mess that straps you tighter inside

like a fly struggling in a Venus fly trap

but you could see it as a person

let it know you’re still afraid but this phase will pass

as long as we live, there will always be new messes to process

better to work with it than to push against

there’s never been a formula for it

I am a mess, but i’m beautiful still.

A Sinner’s Prayer

Forgive me o’ Lord for I have sinned

You’ve heard this a million times

it could be tattooed to my lips

I head right at every possible turn

even when I know volcanic rubbles lie awaits

I’ve condemned my self all my life

better me than you I always say

better to start walking the grave than hope for life

for what has hope ever brought to the hopeless

what has life brought to a begger

I am a refugee at best with sticky hands

I know how to stop but I don’t know when

I think today is the last time but it never is

what has hope ever brought to a sinner?

I head right at every crossroad I come

Past the forest, deep into the woods

running up the hill that snakes at every turn

Forgive me o’ Lord for I have sinned

unfortunately it won’t be my last confession either

I’ve heaved and whined and rolled in mud

I say “it is well”, we both know I don’t mean it

I’m thankful for every chance of redemption you offer

and condemn myself every time I fail

better me than you I always say

what hope in life is there for a person who may know left?

Keeper of Peace

I’m like a daisy in a pond

nourished on all sides by an ever-flowing waterfall

feet rooted between the vegetation

unmoved neither by smallest algae nor the largest predatory

Troubled water silenced by peace, piece by piece

the air is densely saturated with the truth

the pollens on my skin are like an armor of righteousness

and faith is the music I swim to

I am like a plush bear on a playground

with one button eye, the other digesting inside a kid’s belly somewhere

still the smile on my face is in-erasable

when I think of the shield of the holy spirit i yield

you see this world outside is harsher still

like med school, it’s never easy

but we’re still fighting

because of a father who polishes my replaced button

and it is so, we’re still and waiting

praying for grace and strength with each waking breath

The prints we made yesterday guides into tomorrow

enlightening our journey into sanctuary of the keeper of peace