The Interview

Den 6. Mai. 2019.

It was an especially windy morning and I was in a losing battle with the rain, my least favourite forecast. By now my mascara was like a plangent river and my nipples seem to have resisted all the confines I had on, and were poking out as if in protest. This is the kind of morning I’d double up on blankets and burrow a hole through with my body. Now I simply had to resist the urge to moan.

Several minutes later, I was in the courtyard of one of the most prestigious establishment of the town’s history. The weather didn’t seem to deter the occupants as there were more than a handful of young adults, running around in the garten, and some if you can believe, making rain angels.

I walked right through the iron-casted door and shook myself like a shaggy mutt, hopefully I’d get some warmth flowing through my veins before the interview. This was my first job interview, but my quivering body and goose-bumped skin subdued all other nerve-wrenching feelings.

As I walked through the long corridor, searching for the waiting room, a door opened and the man wedging his robust body between it was possibly in his late 40s. He seemed to be squinting at me through his rimmed-glasses; “Frau Ukut, Sie sinds?”

I swallowed my words as I replied; “Ja da bin ich”. He motioned to me to wiggle myself past him. I took a seat behind him as he muttered some welcoming words while taking a seat. We were separated by a sturdy table made from maple oak. He adjusted his brims and glared at me. By this time, my smile was beginning to quake. The voices in my head bellowed in unison, “Oh no, the jig is up”.

I dared to break the silence, “Herr Mayer, Gibt es eventuell eine Probleme oder?

“Na ja”, he heaved, ” Sie sind ein bisschen zu groß, eine Patientin hier zu sein”

Entschuldigen Sie, I chuckled at the silly remark, “Ich bewerbe mich nur bei Ihnen als Assistenzärztin. Haben Sie meine unterlagen nicht bekommen oder?”

He toyed with the tip of a pen which seemed to have been heavily chewed on, then picking up the telephone, he punched in numbers and made some affirmations with the person on the other end. A few footsteps later, there was a knock on the door. Herr Mayer stood up, straightened his tie and right before disappearing assured me. “Warten Sie, Ich komme gleich wieder zurück”.

I sat there peering at the obscure hand painted framed images loosely hung on the wall. A couple were of a woman with soft eyes and a reverse smile. Another was of a clown trapped in a burning building, and there were others that had too much going on anyway. Absorbing myself within them kept me from tinkering with Herrn Mayer’s impression about me being a patient..

Shortly as promised, he was back with news, ” Ich freue mich darüber, Sie zu erzählen, dass Sie den Job bekommen haben. Wenn es stimmt dir zu, können Sie schon am heute Nachmittag anfangen”. My heart was palpitating in my chest as I could not believe his utterance. In that moment, I had forgotten every appropriate reply, so I grabbed his hand and shook it vigorously. Before I left the office, his last words since the forty mins I’ve known him were, ” we believe you will fit right in”.

So I went into the changing rooms and reemerged in the courtyard in white overalls. The dress code seemed to grab the kids attentions. Now the rain had stopped and my smile was beaming. Here I was, residing physician at the Institute of Paediatric Neurology and Psychiatry, Cologne. A dream I’ll keep reliving until it comes true.

The Rain dance

You are the stranger I envisioned in my dream

what with that quaint looks and pale face

we never know how the cards may turn

I’ll be at our usual place

playing our usual song

waiting for the haunting grip of reality

even if the sky rains with burning embers

I will wait for you there

and we can sail deeper

explore Avalon for all it’s worth

take my hand and let’s forget earth

we can soar like the wingless Phoenix

and we need not talk

we could communicate in our minds

like hummingbird to hibiscus

I’m drawn to your shade of beauty

It’s me, half here with you

watching flamingos move in key sequence

beating the last lethargic clouds out of the sky

and dancing rain into existence like the Rain-man never could


Auf Deutsch

Du bist den Man, den Ich in meinem Traum gesehen habe

mit deinem blassen guten aussehen und alles

niemand kennt, wie die Karte umdreht

ich werde an unsere üblich Platz sein

spielen unsere üblich Musik

warum warten wir auf Wirklichkeit

Selbst wenn, die Himmel mit brennendem Feuer regnet

Ich warte auf dir dort

und wir konnen tiefer segeln

und Avalon erkunden.

Nimmst du denn meine Hand und lass uns die Erde vergessen

wir konnen wie die flügellos Phoenix fliegen

und wir müssen keinen wort reden

wir könnten nur in unseren Sinn sprechen

ich liebe deinen Hautton

wie der Vögel liebe die bunten Blumen

hier bin ich, die hälfte hier von mir bei dir

zusehen, wie Flamingos zusammen tanzen

Schlagen wir die letzte Wolke am Himmel

Wir tanzen bis es regnen, wie als der Regen-Mann nie könnte

die Katze und der Hase

Once upon a time, in a totally real, not made up kingdom close to the Amazon,  all animals lived in harmony.

They broke bread together and partook in delightful feasts

The Emperor and highest in command is the Elephant

The  Musicians were the birds and crickets

The Hunters included the Hyenas, wild cats and sharks

The decorators were the graceful butterflies

On security details, they had the porcupine and hound

As their community grew, many animals who did not have a job found one that gave them much purpose and fulfillment

Even the Fox became the kingdom’s travelling salesperson.

The baby animals were trained by their parents and relatives as they would take over the role when their loved ones were too feeble to continue.

The young owls studied the act of philosophy and diplomacy from their grand father

Everything was perfect. Everyone kept busy, everyone except the cat and the rabbit.

No one really knows about their absence. After the  community’s wholesome breakfast, they simply disappeared until the same time, the next day.

The Dog  aka whistle-blower Joe became suspicious, hence, he approached the mighty Emperor;

‘Sir I have reason to suspect that the Cat and the Rabbit are cajoling with members of other communities,  they may even be spies my Emperor, think back to your earliest memory of them, I can’t  recall them as kids, or their parents, can you?’

The Elephants fussed.

‘You’re right loyal dog, They just appeared here,  as you know,  I never forget. We must arraign them in front of the magistrate’.

 


 

And so it happened that the following morning, the cat  and Rabbit were tossed  into jail.

‘Hear ye, Hear ye’. The  Magistrate, the giraffe announced pounding his heavy gavel.  ‘the defendants may appear before my court’

So the cat and the rabbit, bound  on  all  sides by two hefty rhinoceros guards  and hippo bailiffs appeared before the judge.

The judge raised a brow;

‘Ok, I’m gonna keep this simple coz lunch starts in 15 minutes and I gotta catch the sautéed pithy tendril before they run out. You two stand here accused  of spying on our community and stealing information about us’

‘What information?’ the Cat mocked;

‘Silence! do you understand these charges, have you anything to say?’

‘I have a question’, announced the rabbit meekly,

The whole court leaned it. The rabbit rarely spoke, except for the old owl, no one knows how he sounded like

‘Go ahead’ nudged the Giraffe

In his thready, squeaky voice, the Rabbit askd ‘why are there only wryms,  tiger snakes and crocs in the prison?’

The Giraffe shouted with austerity, “because they are baaaaaaad mother fuckers, and they’ll eat your cute hiney  for breakfast without blinking twice’

‘This is ridiculous’, objected the cat,  are you so curious about where I am? My aeipathy is laying at the vantage point of the hilliest rock where the sun hits just right and occasionally licking my sack, why? BECAUSE I HAVE NO JOB, is that a crime now?

‘Me too’, said the rabbit

The Giraffe looked at his watch and said. ‘I rule that you two are unguilty,  Lazy bigots. Now, get out of my courthouse and get a life!”


 

News got back the Emperor that two furry critters needed to secure a job

‘Well that’s easy, said the Elephant, they can be poets’

‘Sir the Seal has that,  his work is like Troubadour’, the Emperor’s secretary,  Swansil the Swan suggested

‘What about good distributors’

‘The Chimps Sir, they even deal with perfumes

‘They like to groom, how about a hair saloon?’

‘Sir, you send your wife to  Bear & Brothers™ for her coils, he’s excellent at it’.

‘Right right  then perhaps design?’

‘Fashion is the peacocks area of expertise’

Four hours of bantering later, the Emperor consulted with his council men. They made more suggestions, albeit there was really no free occupational sector available.

By the end of the day, every one had collapsed from exhaustion. Finally the Elephant called in the Cat and the Rabbit

‘Listen, we are tired! just tell us what it is you want to be, and you can resumer training for it’

They exchanged trepid glances; ‘well we don’t know’, said the rabbit

‘You have until tomorrow morning  to figure it out’.

 


 

The following day,  the Cat and Rabbit, arrived zestfully to the throne room

‘Have you arrived at a decision’, a doubtful Emperor scoffed;

‘We think you were on to something, We should be spies!’ said the cat

The Elephant’s eyes flung open, ‘You’re right…I did come up with that ‘

the swan  said matter-of-factly, ‘technically, the hound did….’

‘Silence! roared the Emperor, from this day onwards,  I decree that the cat and the Rabbit will visit new unexplored territories,  learn about it for as long as they deem fit, and report back to us’

After the decree, the Emperor called in the spies, ‘have you decided where you will start your mission ?’

The Rabbit cleared his throat, ‘there are these interesting race of upright walking creatures called  Humans.

“What makes them so special? asked the Emperor

the Cat said; “their strengths: they have a wide variety of resources we can steal and industrialise

Or weaponise even” added the Rabbit

‘And their weakness?’ said the Emperor

‘Glad you asked my Emperor,  smized the rabbit, they’ll consider any breathing thing as a pet. Together we will be unassailable’

And thus engendered the prodigious adventure of the Cat and the Rabbit in the Human household and the Kingdom flourished, or so they thought.

 


Hey friends. Today I thought I’d get a bit silly today. I recently visited my friend’s family and one of them wanted me to give them a bed time story. But, since they don’t speak English. I had to deliver it either in Magyar or Deutsch.

I couldn’t deliver. But I vowed to give them an original Alexandrian fable that I will completely translate to Deutsch in time.

Let me know what animals you liked, and the ones who think should have been featured, as well as the role they should have played in our euthopian society.