Fire and Blood

The moon is forming. Arising from the east, “if you stare hard enough”, brother says, “you’ll blossom into a princess”. He says, into anything I desire.

Tears trickle unrestrained, down down down to the angle of her lips. She wipes it away, so he inquires, “why are you so sad?” and she replies “I don’t know, why does God exist?”

A nice saunter into town she thought, and I will back to my old self. This isn’t a lie. It’s a confabulation. We can only believe what we tell ourselves; even when seeing is believing.

If the clouds turn bloody, pasted against the dark skies, one glance at it will ignite a fire in her ego, one that cannot be extinguished until the subsequent days.

 

If you didn’t know yet, you wouldn’t know later. “What is wrong with me?”, the question that constantly nags her so, why would I chose violet when peers dance in shades of blue? Why would I trace my lips in green even after she said, and I know, it made me look like an ogre.

Broken.

Unable to soar high, she destroyed her wings so that no one else would, so that she would have a reason to look to the skies and watch eagles soar, so that she would have a reason to make a wish.

But enough if this tomfoolery, enough of these mind games, enough of these flimsy excuses, enough!.

The clouds she sees are crimson, they blend into each other projecting their effect on top of themselves. Like two koi fishes engaging in a deadly war, each fighting to conceal the other.

You can tell her a million and one times that what she’d done is beneath her, but she may never seize to emulsify fire & blood.

Amphetamine City

The tires of the bus screech loudly as it rolls to a stop. I awake from my deep slumber, rubbing my eyes… I blink, staring through the window, but the streetlights only reflects back a dimly lit park in the dark night.I tilted my head up to view the digital clock above the passageway, 00.10 it read and minutes later, the conductor comes through.I recalled asking him about 6 hrs earlier how long the bus ride was.He halts beside me, “Ma’am, we’ve reached the final stop, you will need to exit here” then tipping his hat, his voice lowers, “farewell” then he continues past me. I let out a soft yawn as I dragged my baggage from under the seats, getting up. I stepped out into the cold night; at long last, It’s amphetamine city.

He halts beside me, “Ma’am, we’ve reached the final stop, you will need to exit here” then tipping his hat, his voice lowers, “farewell” then he continues past me. I let out a soft yawn as I dragged my baggage from under the seats, getting up. I stepped out into the cold night; at long last, It’s amphetamine city.

 

Twenty minutes later, the Uber pulls up at the farm house and I walk up to the door. I press and listen to the loud clunk of the bell from within. I close my eyes and inhale deeply as I hear the footsteps closing in around the door.It swings ajar and my beloved aunt Fontane stands at the opposite side of the welcome mat wearing a broad grin on her face, which sorta made me start to smile. Her lips parted “welcome home Alexander” she started stepping aside from the doorway; “welcome to amphetamine city”.

I stepped into the grand parlor, memories of my prepubertal years flooded my brain, like the time I ran up those never ending stairs, slipped and broke my early incisor.It felt great being back being back here; yet strangely unsettling, like something was wrong.

“well hello there darling”, I was swayed from my thoughts by an airy voice.My neck reverts back to the stairs. The silhouette of a lady posing on the top, her lips were thin with dark tan nevi around her neck.She wore her hair in an updo and the V-neck flowing top seemed to accentuate her long neck. I noticed the color flow into her cheeks. It was Aluna, I was ecstatic, perhaps because I am proud of the woman she was becoming. She fastened down the stairs, twirling across the room towards me

“Now that we’re all here ” interrupted Fontane “let’s have dinner”.

Dinner was a big celebratory feast, after which we all went outside and a bonfire was started.My grandmom simply referred to as “Nana” sat adjacent to me outside as we silently watched the fire grow and ashy debris fall from the smoke.

“What is it that brought you back” Nana finally ended the silence. I remained mute “What is it?” she relented.

“I just enjoy this place” I splurged ….”but it doesn’t feel like home”.

 

******

amphet

 

Months flew by, but the overall dynamic of the house was destabilized, our grand feasts quickly reduced to weeks old bread and lukewarm water.Even the crops were wilting. “what is going on?” Aluna exclaimed, extremely vexed, thumping hard on the bed, her head supported by her wrists.I lowered myself in front of her, pushing all of my weight onto my forefoot. I felt bad.

” I can make this all go away”, I tell her “I could make you happy again”

“how?” she asks in awe

“This place, you, Fontana, are merely figments of my imagination, I could rewrite this whole script” I pause “and then I could leave, forever”

 

she wipes her face “you never told me why you came back”

“I needed a safe house, somewhere I was familiar with— but I can’t stay here”

“well if you do leave, who wins?” she asks

I blink ” No one I suppose”.

Climb onto the highest building top.Inhale deeply and watch as the peasant scurry to the call of their master. Now shut your eyes, tightly, You’re almost here…..it’s Amphetamine City. 

 

Amphetamine city is the continuation of Yellow Roses, these stories portrays the never-ending journey towards self discovery.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Zenitude

That one over there,

She doesn’t really talk much you know; just sits there, scribbling into that ugly notebook pretending to read meaning into the life’s essence.

There has to be a reason; probably not a good one.

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The sun rays splash across my face, beating me with heat as I lay in my hammock, a smile beaming across my face because my eyes are hidden behind these sunglasses, protected from all these shades.

Never been good at communicating; don’t know it, neither did I learn it. I know; I know, most people don’t learn it, they just inherently develop it innit?

It’s not “forming” as they call it, I am simply a student and  I prefer to observe and study life.If I seem alone and mysterious; It is because I silently reflect; so again I am not being evasive, but simply exploring behavior patterns.People have a fascinating hierarchy in life, however, I chose which subjects fascinates me enough to retain my presence and I simply do not care for others.

That I do not care for a subject is not a  reflection of their being and doesn’t mean a damn thing.It shouldn’t matter because a lot of others would prove to find value in them.

I have a knack for getting into my own head more often than most do.It’s more than a welcome visit; I live here now, my sanctum if you will, but like every other environment, It can get overwhelming.So I constructed these walls to keep the sun out and guard my skin, tending to my sanctum and nursing my sunburns. I reinforced these walls, shield myself from the dysfunctional world and by doing so, I fortify the side of me people simply believe to be, unaffectionate.

Turns out, I have mastered the act of zenitude, yielding from the tree of quiescence, finding an ally in it’s solitude and pure energy.If you’re wondering if it’s worth it, I’ll ask; does skin peel after a sunburn?

In the absolutely uninspired, biased lyrics of Nicki Minaj,”I give zero fucks; and I’ve got zero chill in me”.

Beneath Your Skin

Hi there,

I’ve thought about it

I’m interested in you

Not that you everyone sees with their eyes

Honestly, that’s boring

So what is it you think I’m interested in knowing?

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First off, I want to know if you’re lactose intolerant or have got any malabsorption syndromes

I want to know your blood group.Your hematocrit.The antigens you’ve acquired, the antibodies  that flow through your vasculatures

I want to know if you are prone to bleeding or have clotting abnormalities

I want to know your response to stressful stimuli and how effective your stress coping mechanism is.

I want to know which infections you are most vulnerable to acquiring.If  you’ve got  sickle cell anemia or glucose 6 phosphate enzyme defect and will never experience what it feels to be infected with malaria

I want to know hepatic enzyme lab parameters. What group of alcohol metabolizing enzyme you’ve got. If you possess the trait of becoming an addict

I want to know your genetic profile. What tumors you are at risk of getting. If you are a carrier for autosomal recessive or x-linked disorders. What rare gene mutation runs in your family

I want to know about if you have mitochondrial dysfunctions.  If the enzymes of your citric acid cycle are functional and the ATP production through the respiratory chain is efficient.

How’s your heart? Were you born with any congenital heart or great vessels malformation, are you predisposed to secondary hypertension or cardiac rhythm disorders?

I want to know how your body processes adipose tissue and how that affects your overall physical attributes

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photo credit: body art exhibit

I want to know about your cognitive functions, concentration and memory ability.If you’ve got dyslexia or dyscalculia.

I want to know how effective your DNA repair system is in managing breakage

I want to know if you are in the less than 1% group of persons with a mutated gene that can never get HIV. I want to know your risk for dementias

I want to know how healthy your endocrine system is.If  you are genetically predisposed to developing diabetes mellitus

I want to know if you’ve got that rare abnormality that makes pain undetectable by the individuals it sounds almost like a super power except that it’s not.

I want to know which neurotransmitters dominate your  nervous system, If you have increased neuronal excitability predisposing to seizures

I want to know what psychological disorders you are at risk of, schizophrenia or bipolar..it’s all the same.

How your family lineage/tree influenced your life and what genes you will pass down to your kids and the pattern of inheritance.

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I want to know how your ethnicity influences your susceptibility to these diseases

I want to integrate into your psychic, not your personality but how you reason and why you think in the way you do.

Moreover, I want to converse with the human beneath your skin, the one nobody bothers to see, after all, normal is so overdone.

If there are seven billion people in the world; I want to know where you fit in but mostly how you stand out.I want to know what impact you make on the world.

I want to understand what if feels like being you.

Sincerely,

Alexander.

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Wild Card

You just chose the wild card.You are an expressionist.You are considered part of a modern generation; generation omega. You’d cast your cares away and listen solely to your wild heart.

Money is of more virtue to you than discipline.You crave freedom as you cannot survive being confined, Freedom is what unites you to your ego.

Young people love to wander far and wide, you seek to elope; don’t you? Travel to all corners of the earth and if the locals ask you,” why here?” you grin and retort; “why any place?” for in your heart you already know, better now than never.

Fill your heart with love wild one as it will distract you from your responsibilities, pretend that this one person is all that matters.Give your soul to the chance that you will be young forever so that when you crash; you will crash hard.Pretend that they are all you care for and rebuke anything that drives a wedge between you and them, but heed my caution, these trust issues will arise like fog at dusk threatening to cloud your judgments even further, pulling them so far from you that they refuse to acknowledge you, even to their own self.

Do not let your insecurities define you wild one, do not let your mind be dismayed by your physical attributes, for they are worth nothing but the age-old insidious monster, depression.

Do not disguise yourself with an exterior that is not yours either; for you will become a prime target to those more troubled and insincere than you, and with time, it will not only take its toll on you, but you will integrate into their culture…becoming one of their own.Burying yourself behind frail wobbly walls.

Let your secrets remain unspoken and your truths stay unchanged.Many will come and most will vanish but do not attach singular priority to any.Indulge in the life you desire, but check the opinions they throw at your feet. Watch them; for they may either make or break you.

In all you do, aspire to do it tremendously, even though you do not have an inkling how, for malnourished ambitions has destroyed many-a-vibrant personalities such as yours. I would know, for I chose the wild card too.

“Treasure the beauty of youthful life and the wisdom of adulthood.”
Lailah Gifty Akita

 

Blood Moon.

 

Is it here? My face twisted as though a drop of sour lime was diffusing sporadically through my tongue.

Is it really here? Some say the full moon comes with a rejuvenating energy, they say it’s a time for restoration, others say it purges the soul of evil and purifies it with light.But whose to say which is light, and which is dark? Whose to say that darkness isn’t pure; and whose to say that beneath the light, evil isn’t stalking around in plain sight.

 

As darkness floods the environ this night, the mysticism of the moon becomes vigorously charged.My consciousness is altered as I delve into self-awareness.A bird perches on a wire as I look onwards…beyond the affirmations of the mortal body to the realization that this round silver “astronomical body” is in linear alignment with the sun and earth.                    Yes, It is here.                                                                                                                                                      Stargazers are in for an even bigger treat as Jupiter is in close proximity of the moon tonight.So what exactly is the significance of this phenomenon? As it turns out, this moon has been associated with the blossoming of spring earliest flowers, wild ground phlox.Hence, it’s called the pink moon among others.So maybe the full moon signifies new beginnings. A time of powerful healing, A time for hope….

That night, beneath the full moon, He brought me to the oasis and placed me in the pond.My dark hair turned white, I opened my eyes and began to cry…and they knew I would live— Princess Yue in The siege of the north part 2, Avatar: the last Airbender.

This phenomenon has been called many names including the strawberry moon, harvest moon, oak moon, milk moon, hay moon, old moon and now because seeing is believing, pink moon.However, because of an inspired yet oddly ghoulish episode of Avatar which in summary relayed wisdom about harnessing the energy of the full moon to the best of one’s potential.Hence, Blood moon.

The relationship of the moon and the ocean is yet another fascinating paradox.It goes without saying that they signify not just healing but emotional awareness and intuitiveness.

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Tui and La, Your moon and ocean have always circled each other in eternal dance.They balance each other…Push and Pull…Life and Death…Good and Evil. Yin and yang.— Koh in the siege of the north part 2, Avatar: the last Airbender

So when you submerge your head against your pillow this evening.close your eyes, and meditate a little on how the moon deliberately influences your life by creating a balance. Think about how much of your life is being influenced by emotions.As electromagnetic frequencies vibrate along your middle ear and spreads through your entire being, What you feel is, the time to plant your seed, the time to get the big chop, time to go for the casting auditions, the time to begin that exercise regimen, the time to travel and explore a new dimensions, the time to admit your vulnerability….Is now.

If you’re a scholar, you especially need to take advantage of the vibes the current cosmic alignment is oozing.

Symbolically, the blood moon deals with revelation—of oneself, of others, and of previously covert scenarios.Even some species of wolf, forsake their location to the Energy of the moon. Therefore, the buzz is not just for the sake of it, so unwind as the blood moon unleashes it’s full effect.

 

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